This question made me realize that values have been assigned to emotions. Not consciously, possibly not even by me, but I have clearly accepted this sliding scale naming some emotions as good, and some bad. It’s true that some emotions are less pleasant than others, but does that make them bad? Are unpleasant feelings things to be corrected right away or avoided altogether?
While I don’t enjoy it, feeling this way sometimes is necessary. If I reject what are considered bad emotions and choose not to feel them, then I am also choosing to limit the corresponding good emotions on the other end of the emotion scale. Limiting how bad I can feel limits how good I can feel. Life has a way of finding equilibrium.
I just need to sit with it for a bit - acknowledge that I feel out of sorts and allow myself to feel it. I don’t need to analyze it, excuse it, explain it, or justify it. I simply need to let it be. I’ve lived long enough, and experienced enough highs and lows to know that none of them - the highs or the lows - will last forever.
Life will not always be the way it is right now. Best I can do is learn in the hard times and be grateful for the good ones.
So, today, I am feeling out of sorts and that’s ok, because I know, at some point, I will feel its counter-balance and that will be ok, too.
Writing about widow life, grief, and general random ramblings.
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