​Random Thoughts Along the Way

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Image by Gábor Bejó from Pixabay
I’ve heard mantras like “Let go and let God,” or been encouraged to leave my requests at the cross.  

According to these mantras, we enlist God to do a thing - we focus on the outcome. Make this sickness go away. Sell my house. Grant me that job - or a job. That’s putting it in God’s hands, right? Then we are supposed to let go or walk away. We are to pray and then sit back and wait for the miracle, no matter how small.
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I was standing on the earth, connecting with that part of its creator that was imbued into it, thinking about how the earth supports us. 

Oftentimes in my life, prayer has been outcome based - asking God to do this, to change that, or take that away. The outcome typically sought had to do with comfort, safety, or convenience - whether my own or someone else’s. And when prayer is based on an outcome, we tend to become focused on that one outcome that we decided is best.
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Image by reenablack from Pixabay
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Image by fabyloveyop from Pixabay
The Me I Was Before looked for God in the mundane, in the everyday things of life.

​One of the mundane things in my life is squeezing a lemon into my water every morning. But I don’t like the seeds floating around in my glass.

One morning, I pondered this activity and found God there in my lemon.
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Social norms.

They are sneaky little tyrants, dictating to us what is acceptable, and what is not; what we can be proud of and what we should be ashamed of.

They are embedded deeply into our subconscious causing us to behave, dress, even speak in ways and places that they deem appropriate without us even knowing they are there. They whisper ceaslessly in our being, lulling us into compliance. 

​We don’t question their mandates; they make us believe we are choosing these things for ourselves. 


But are we?
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Image by franconamela from Pixabay
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Image by TheOtherKev from Pixabay
I saw a baby bird in my yard. Well, it  wasn't a baby baby, it was more like a fledgling. It was fully feathered and able to fly short distances, perhaps from the limb of a tree or a fence to the ground. Flying back up, even a short distance, was another story. The little guy was nestled in the grass, being very quiet and still.

He was just chillin, sunning himself or enjoying the fresh air. Then, all of a sudden, this little bird stands up and starts squawking and raising a ruckus! I looked around to see what the fuss was all about, and I saw an adult bird  sitting on the top of the fence.
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Image by Peter H from Pixabay
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I look at the path that is in front of me, at the path that my feet are on.

The bridge, the path, is my business. 

If my path is a bridge over a cavern, and I focus on the cavern, I may lose my step. If I focus on the bridge, I'll stay on the bridge.

My path is my own future, my own destiny.
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I’ve always thought this meant that in our lifetimes we will experience the death of others, and, ultimately, our own death. Both of these things are true; it is a linear understanding based on the beginning and ending of a single lifetime. In this view, death is the end of a timeline that was once characterized by life. At least this is how I’ve always understood it. 

Death became part of Rod’s life in the most literal way. But on the day he died, death became part of my life, too.

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Image by Lumina Obscura from Pixabay
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I’ve been trying for a week now (while being snowed in) to put words to what’s been rumbling around in my head and in my being. After three attempts, and the combined effort of over 2,500 words, I find that I am unable to adequately express myself. Perhaps they’re just not done cooking yet; I will let them simmer a bit longer.

In the meantime, here are two observations that have begun all this percolating:

In 2020, with the rapid spread of a virus transmitted by person-to-person contact, I was struck with how interconnected we are to one another as human beings across the globe. 

In 2021, after the snow storms and sub-freezing temps across all of Texas, I observed how that interconnectedness can be used to serve one another for the betterment of a community.​
If we so choose.
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Today I turn 59. Fifty-nine. That’s one birthday away from sixty.

The big 6-0. 
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To my juniors (and my big brother!), 59, 60 … not much of a difference. And in reality, that’s probably true. But the 60-somethings seem an odd age, don’t they? I mean they’re still considered kids by their seniors, but they ain’t no spring chickens, neither! It’s kind of like being between 18 and 21 when you’re legally old enough for some things but not others. So are you grown up yet or not?
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Today, I am feeling out of sorts -
not my favorite way to feel.


I can think of nothing in particular that would elicit this feeling, so I find myself wondering what’s wrong with me, and what I might do to correct this feeling - to right this wrong. 

That's when it hit me … why is my first question,
​what’s wrong with me?
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